When trying to break through the fears of sharing your work with the world.
This is basically what I’ve been practicing for my entire life. Imaging the worst case scenario. I can take any situation and turn it into a full on, bear in the woods no weapon kind of outlook in seconds.
What if NO ONE buys my book / reads my work?
This is the big one that a lot of people fear. That they put their heart and soul into something, and the world just doesn’t care.
It’s not a fear of mine, it’s kind of what I’m expecting. And it’s actually quite a relief to think about. If no one buys or reads it, then no one will be able to call me a hack.
So if you worry about this, don’t. Because worser things could happen. This just gives you the chance to work on your skills while being under the radar.
What if it does sell, and suddenly people want to talk to you?
This is a legitimate fear for most introverts out there. When a chatty extrovert comes up to you and starts asking you personal questions. And never giving you a chance to catch your breath. Oh and it’s even worse if they keep moving closer every time you move further away.
Ok this is a truly a legitimate fear of mine. I can’t even call my Doctors office to get a prescription refilled without having a fit of sweat take over my body. Every word I say being replayed in my head, where I always wonder why I would say such a thing? Do normal people say that kind of thing?
What if someone I knew read my book, then showed up on my doorstep and said let’s talk about it. Obviously I couldn’t let that happen. No one comes in my place anymore, and I mean no one. I once did maintenance on my own appliances just so I didn’t have to let the handyman in.
What if the baristas who always ask what I’m working on, and I say oh just some boring research, found out I wrote a book? And asked me about it? I could never write in that coffee shop again. Mostly because I would probably say something completely awkward and horrific.
I HAVE to be able to write in coffee shops, because I can’t write at home. First I have too many cats, second my neighbors think that playing a bass guitar is totally acceptable in an apartment building, and third I have a really large TV and fast wifi at home and a couch that is always calling my ass to it.
Yes maybe you would have some awkward moments to get through. But maybe they would spark something that you would never of had a chance to know about, without the incident. Also you could just find another coffee shop if all else fails.
What if I write something, and it’s good. Then I never write anything else ever as good again. Like I have one decent story in me, and after it’s finished, so am I.
I think this comes from the imposter syndrome. You know how you win over all the people in the hiring process, then get the job. Only to be sitting there every day, wondering if that’s the day they find out you’re a total fraud.
I have felt this way after every achievement in my life. That paper that got the rave reviews, that project that won an award, the website that beat all expectations, the presentation where I didn’t have to puke afterwards. They were all just flukes, one hit wonders that used up all of my mojo. And now maybe I only have one more story to tell.
Doing any kind of work, can only improve your skills. Meaning that you’ll continuously be doing better work with each new task that you handle. Practice doesn’t always make perfect, but it will make you a better creative person. You’ll never have to worry about running out of ideas, or never creating anything great again.
What if I actually make this work, and realize . . . I hate it.
I had a friend who went to school to be a teacher. In his last year of school he started to freak out that maybe he didn’t want to teach. That what if he hated it. What would he do then? This was what he had wanted to do for so long. He ended up liking teaching and it was just an irrational fear.
I personally wonder this now that I’ve started publishing my writing. That once the “newness” wears off, I find out that I hate writing and publishing. What will I do? I can’t go back to working for the “Man”. And being told things like “they’ll know it when they see it” when I ask what they want in a project. I just can’t.
I guess I could start over in yet another career. But I can’t go back to school. I mean my student loan debt is way too large for that. So I’ll have to try and figure something else out.
I also can’t be a farmer. I tried regrowing my vegetables like they show online, avocados, lettuce, onions, and all I got was mushy molding vegetables rotting in cups of water. It was a health hazard.
I guess I could look into tour guide options in Key West, this would be a really awesome job I imagine. Well except for the dealing with people part, never mind.
Maybe I should start playing the lottery.
This just might be my biggest fear. The fear of losing the dream.
Because it’s been the dream that’s kept me pushing forward. The dream that I wouldn’t have to work for the “Man” anymore. That I would be able to actually create work that I loved and was proud of.
So how do you deal with the fear of losing your dream? By realizing that the only way it can happen is if you don’t go after it. Because if you do write a book, or whatever it is you want. And after you realize you don’t want to do “that” anymore. It’s really just an opportunity to find a new dream.
My husband will read my work, my finished, polished work. And instead of telling me I’m funny and interesting, he’ll make that face he does, and say “it’s . . . alright”. When we both know it’s not.
Then I’ll have no support system at all, because he’s basically it. It’ll just be me talking to the cats about my ideas and them licking my face and planning where the’re going to start eating me the moment I die.
I won’t be able to pull out the laptop and write in front of the Hubster. Because all I’ll be able to think about is, “it’s . . . alright”. Even if he’s not around, I would still hear those words in my head. I’ll just have to pack it in and forget I ever had the dream in the first place.
I don’t want to let my writing dream die anymore than I want my cats to eat my damn face. Seriously I know they are going to start with the face, they always lick it the most. I thought it was the all natural orange oil lotion I use, but sometimes I wonder.
Alright this is a completely irrational fear that I need to quit thinking about, and wrap this piece up.
Even if all of your fears came true, which the probability of that is not likely. I mean come on, that would be completely improbable. But even if they did. It wouldn’t be the end of the world.
No the world would just keep on turning. And you too would keep on living. You might need to wonder around for a bit, but eventually you would find another dream to chase. So you might as well chase the one you have now, and see what tomorrow will bring.
Thank You so much for reading my story!